Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
