God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
