She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
