Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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