It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
