I don't usually arrange sex via text message
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
