Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
