So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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