Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we're so committed to being not committed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
