I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
