you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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