Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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