"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There are leaves in my underwear?
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