i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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