I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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