first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
