i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
