I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
