put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
