Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
