When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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