my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
