Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I showed him my bush... on skype.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
