Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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