She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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