PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
