so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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