i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
