I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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