So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
