Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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