I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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