Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if only i could text you this smell
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
