and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
