its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
