my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
