last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
