dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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