Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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