Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
