you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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