She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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