Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
