ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
