can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
