I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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