so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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