I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
