dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
