sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry about my life...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
