Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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