We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
