I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
