She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize