Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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