David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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