I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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