I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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