We're facebook friends in real life
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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