my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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