he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...