he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...