walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
