This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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