I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
